I was called an asshole today.  In public.  I believe we need to get back to a kinder society that observes certain social mores.  I’ve grown tired of the any thing goes attitude we’ve coped today.  This is why I’ve taken it upon myself to find another hole that one could use as an insult without offending people who may be sensitive to certain language.  After reviewing the various holes in ones body, of which there is a limited number, I’ve narrowed it down to two- the ear hole and the nose hole.
Let’s consider the ear hole.  It can be hairy and the wax it contains is relatively funky.  However, the ear hole is something that can be sexy.  One nibbles on an ear, something most everyone but vile perverts would never consider doing to the ass, in the throes of passion.  There is a fine point here.  One nibbles on the lobe not the actual hole but I’ve heard of people sticking a tongue in an odd ear hole or two.  I’ve heard tales of people doing this to the other hole but I must confess such things bring up my gag reflex.  So to recap, ear holes can be disgusting but they also have another personae as a clean symbol of passion.  So much for the ear hole.
Let’s consider the nose hole.  One doesn’t consider the nose hole as symbol of sexual desire unless you have some terrible fetish.  Slimy snot emanates from it.  Several forms of booger are encased inside the nose hole.  There is the hard booger that is dry and can be shot out with sufficient force so as to hit a target with a fair amount of accuracy.  There is the mushy booger that has to be brought out in pieces and wiped to get the remnants off ones fingers.  Both are offensive.  I think we have our winner here.  The nose hole can be used as an expletive.  It gets the message across to the recipient that he or she is disgusting and objectionable.  Let’s try it.  “You are a stupid nose hole!”  “Stick it in your nose hole!”  Very good.  Splendid.  It can be said in public or on tv without fine or censor.  Children can say it without fear of punishment.  I bet one could even say it in church.  It’s the perfect expletive.  I’m very proud that I’ve added something this important to our vernacular.  I knew I could do it if I wasn’t such a lazy nose hole.