Grilling expensive cuts of meat after dark is not a good idea.  About the only light I had was when the steaks would actually catch fire.  It’s a good excuse.  I like it.  I’m sure any reasonable person would understand.  Did I mention that I had consumed a good portion of wine beforehand.  There is another issue.  Most of the people at this party I was cooking for wanted their steaks medium well.  Sacrilege.  Medium well is for hamburgers and how you feel the day after major surgery not for  prime cuts of beef.  Nevertheless I digress.  It is my fault.  I could have turned down the fire.  I could have gotten a flash light.  I could have stopped drinking an hour before cooking instead of drinking right up to and during.  Alcohol gives you confidence in situations where a little caution should be warranted.  I wasn’t trying to convince the girl at the bar that I’m looking for a long term meaningful relationship with someone who would be good at helping me spend my vast fortune.  I was grilling steaks for twenty people, some of whom are my bosses.  Damn.  ‘T’is the season to be folly, far lar lar lar lar.  If your religion requires burnt offerings then come to my house when I’m grilling.  I can get it done.
There were other issues at said party.  We had this merry get to together at the girlfriends house of one of my bosses.  She is a very nice person with a very nice house.  Very gracious.  I like her.  Sometime during the day I noticed that she is prejudiced against the letter L.  She doesn’t use L in many of the words that require it.  I’m sorry but L is almost as important as any of the rest of the letters.  The L section in the dictionary is pretty big.  I checked her dictionary and she had torn out that section.  How dare she.  L has a nice shape.  It points up and to the right, both perfectly reasonable directions.  Why leave it out?  I asked her why she leaves it out and she blatantly denied any knowledge of it.  She does it so subtly that it’s hard to catch.  For instance, she said this very ornate platter was ode.  I pointed out that she had mistakenly left the L out of old.  She pretended not to understand what I was talking about.  Then she spoke of a getting a salad bow down from the cupboard.  I again mentioned that she had left the L out of bowl.  Again she pretended to have no knowledge of  this.  I began to feel bad at this time.  I thought she may be unable to pronounce the letter L and therefore her  racism toward L is understandable.  Then she asked me if I wanted a glass of wine.  A glass, not a gas.  Ah ha, she is an L racist.  She only acknowledges L when she absolutely has to.  Her chauvinism would be caught immediately if she never used L.  She uses it just enough to hide her hatred for it.  I’m not sure where this letter discrimination comes from but I will be finding out.  No one messes with L.  NO ONE!